i have a dream. life is never a bed of roses. thus, don't just sit and wait for god to send you a parcel that states " a free meal". nothing is free in this world. with a consequence and effect in mind, we should do our best in life. alright, i know that this post might be contradicting my actions in which i have been displaying for the past few weeks, or perhaps even months. however, i am just not happy with the way i am living my life. i hate the way i have been treating my friends, i hate the way i have been treating myself. it's simply too unjust. thus, i seek change. as said before, change is good only if it is a positive progression. however, this is not the main point. i am not sure what came over me, but slacking and procrastination has been perhaps my best friends recently. unsure how i befriended such horrid mindsets. which will eventually lead to negative consequences in life. i agree that it's kind of freaky. but nevertheless, at least i have achieved a certain extent of self-awareness. a self awareness of my downwards sliding process. however, realisation without actions is futile in all aspects. rebuke the devil of all sins and negativeness. i rebuke them all and seek for positive change. alright, apart from rebuking the devil of sins, we seriously can't just sit and wait patiently for harvest to fall from the sky. let me give another analogy for better depiction. basically, the point is, we must take initiative in whatever we undertake. for example, if you are at home and you want to get out of the house to take a short walk by the park. however, the exit is a door which is shut close, but it isn't locked. thus, it's just closed. from here, we can choose two options. one, walk right into the door, which will result in oneself getting hurt. second, turn the knob to open the door. from here, we can see a depiction of a paradox of choice. life is very much a paradox which is overflowing with choices and decisions to be made. and such decisions and choices are not a simple and easy task. the reason is mainly because every choice you make in life will result in a particular end-result. thus, it also determines our bifurcation points. and thus, resulting in a different life and future altogether. therefore, we see the significance of the paradox of choice. thus, without further digression, i better revert back to why i am saying all this philosophical issues. well, to be honest, i no longer yearn to pretend to be someone else. i want to myself in all aspects and a person who views issues and conflicts with various perspectives. i don't want to be like others. i don't want to lose myself. so yeah, i am gonna endure and go against all odds. i have a dream, and i know it. i got a dream and i gotta work it out. regardless on how tough and difficult the journey may be. from now onwards, i am gonna find my purpose and involvement in life.

in search of brighter days, i rode through a maze of madness. struggle was my address, where negativity brew. with no apology, i walked with a boulder on my shoulders. given this game with no time to practise, i shall try my best to ammend my mistakes. as i piece my dreams together, i realise that there was still the presence of faith and hope. images of me became clearer as i wrote a letter to my soul to give comfort to my negative acceleration in life . from then on, i felt i wanted to change. as i flip a page, i realised that the page was blank. at that moment, i knew that i had to pen down a new chapter of my life. now, my rage has turned into freedom. even though my dreams are far and distant, i shall continue to pen down and craft my future. thus, though people prefer to predict their future, i prefer creating mine. so yeah, i believe in heaven more than hell, blessings more than jail. to end off, life may be a sacrifice, but it's a sacrifice well worth!

alrighty, i guess that's all for now, au revoir!